These Are A Few Of My Frustrating Things

I have lots to say, not sure where to start, most of it isn't fun, so I'll just start with the guest book.

Just got off the phone with a woman claiming to be called "Rain Water" at my post office.

I can only find tiny pictures. Probably because they are so ashamed of themselves. Please for the love of mail do NOT move to the 30309 zip code. They are the biggest cluster of fudgetarts I've ever dealt with. I blessed her out because after having complained 2 years ago that I couldn't get my packages because THEIR package boxes had broken locks, what's been done about it? Not a damn thing. I also felt the need to inform her, since she has only been there a year, how lazy her staff was. Once again the tracking on the guest book said they left a slip and there is no slip anywhere. "Rain Water" promised it would be delivered today, a strange guarantee since she didn't even check my tacking number or get my name. I literally cannot talk about this anymore.

MALL MADNESS

No, not that Mall Madness. Imagine it more like a zombie apocalypse...

With emergency cupcakes

We did get a few things accomplished.

No, besides that

We now know our ring sizes, fiancee is a 10 1/2 and I'm a 12 1/2, narrowly escaping the crafty Persian's sales tactics. So those online ring sizers don't work. We also tried on the shoes, 10 and 13 if your keeping score, so we can order them offline if we choose. There were challenges, such as, in the entire mall you see below, one men's restroom was working. On the opposite end and down two floors from the entrance.

So lastly, we went to check tuxedo rentals, which was no small feat. I've been coming to this mall for over 20 years and I had no idea where it was. The map confused us more, as it seemed to be behind the shoe stores on the plaza level, in the purple "B" section. Those damn stores are outside the mall facing the parking garage nestled among two types of gyms and a police precinct. Actual police, not the Segway Blarts. 

This is where caca got real. 

Four hundred for our two tuxes. Now, I know I haven't rented a tux since I was 7, and I'm pretty sure I didn't pay for it myself, but it seems like ads over the years have not built a realistic idea in my head of what it was going to cost. Oh, and you can be as diplomatic as you want, but pointedly steering us away from the slim fit models left a bad taste in my mouth only Haagen Dazs could take away.

Now we have some tough decisions to make. Bit by bit we are taking away elements of a wedding that was, honestly, far from lavish.I try not to let it get to me. I try not to think how things could have been different if I were straight, because i may have gotten married much younger, having our wedding parents to help. Being straight isn't something I want, it's just that this experience has come to me far later than it should have. 

I suppose at some point every couple has brought up the "E" word. Scrap all or part of it and stop the hemorrhaging. This computer thing has come up. The invitations haven't gone out. All this waiting and fighting that was done, though, just to take 5 minutes out of our day to get it done and out of the way is never what I wanted. Simply, we don't know what's going to happen now, outside of being married. 

This blog will continue. This is about marriage, the process, the ups, the downs, the celebrations and the sacrifices. Also, gay marriage does not end with the ceremony, or reception, or honeymoon. 

Now we just need time to consider plans B, C, and D...

Plan B

Plan C

When all else fails, there's always D

Something Blue-Something New

Is it possible to be your own something blue for the wedding? I know It will be a happy day, there are no fears about my desire to marry Scott. It's just difficult sometimes to maneuver the happiness when you have little control emotionally. I have to medicate an hour before bedtime just to keep my sleepy mind from rehashing every worry currently plaguing me. Similarly, when I get up, I need two hours to try and pull myself out of the same worries as well as every doubt and fear I've collected along the way. Nothing is as it seems to me during this time, which is why I have a rule not to write any emails or comments until I've been up for at least two hours. This way my brain wakes up and can filter my messages, guarding against leaving angry or incisive comments, or worse, deciding to send a friendly email to someone I purposely ended contact with. It is, however, the perfect time to to make any complaint calls needed.

Everything so far has been a huge rollercoaster. Right now, after a tummy tickling set of curves and drops, I'm clickity clacking my way up another hill, only to have to car stop halfway.

The vaporizing is on hold. The stupid things were leaking. It was an experiment of volume control as I had to insist they return my money. After several trips to the manager's office, he did indeed give the money back for my vaporizer, and exchanged Scott's, getting most of the money back for his. I'm going to see how his new one functions and if it continues to work well, I may buy the same one. Until then, I'm just trying to cut back on my expensive, little, paper tubes of disappointment.

Then, just when I think that at least things are piecing together, and how maybe it will come together, we get a storm and lightning hits. Suddenly, when I start my computer now, I have to press F1 because it says the battery voltage is low. I don't know how to go into F2 to try and fix it. It may be my imagination, but I think it's effecting performance. My writing is all on an external, but you've got to have something to access it. It's just another one of those things with bad timing, a horribly expensive thingy.

Okay, last of the woe paragraphs and I'll end on something good.

The great news is there are only 98 days left. What worries me most about this is that there are only 98 days left. Back on the good side again, I only have 98 more days to be a nervous wreck (about this). Things are gradually coming together, we'v just reached a point where I'm going to stop hoping for certain things, like having our rings in time. With regular expenses, new ones, potential ones, it's just feeling highly unlikely. It's discouraging when even economical isn't within grasp.

Okay, I promised some good.

The wedding cake topper is beautiful. It's slightly larger than expected, which is fine because we still have time to adjust the cake. It was a good choice on Scott's part. The ink well pen-holder came today. I haven't opened it yet because Scott's still asleep. Everything else besides the handfasting cord has shipped. She makes those to order. She's also a little behind, so it's a good thing we ordered it early.

Last night Scott asked me what else we need to get. There is still quite a list, but I'm going to go through it because I can actually check off some things. Fiancee is off tomorrow and Monday, so I may see if he wants to head to the mall for 3 things. To get prices at the tuxedo rental I can never remember the name of. Savvi, that's it. Also, we need to try on Converse high tops, well Scott does. I have never met anyone who could wear so many shoe sizes depending on the brand. Mine has been the same since I was 13, but I do know they vary. Then we can pop in a jewlery store and verify the Google's method for measuring ring sizes. Oh, and I almost forgot. Taco Bell.

Since we are having troubles finding burgundy shoes, for some reason, we have decided to switch to these.

Okay, Scott is up so I'm going to ease him into his day because he has a long work shift in a couple of hours.

Love Bubbles #9

As I promised, here is something. The bubbles have finished their transformation.

I need to hand pick one. We are going to do a shadow box after the wedding with an invitation, the handfasting cord, some bubbles and other stuff. 

I'm tired and it's just as well. The vaporizer must not have come with a full charge and I've had it charging for over an hour now and I'm not bad, I'm really not, but I feel like losing it is inevitable. Unless I go to bed, so I'm trying to fast track that. Praise Cheeses, Scott is on his way home from work. Now not only to I get to see him before bed, I can vape before bed. And don't forget the Kit-Kat I take for my rheumatiz. 

Saving and Spending the Day Away

At the point we got our new vaporizers, we were both out of cigarettes so we instantly saved $10, or $15 depending on what store.

Things are going well for me. Not a cigarette in the apartment and I'm fine. Fiancee Man is not faring as well at work, but he does have to deal with an insane amount of tomfoolery from a job lousy with nincompoops. By the time we get up tomorrow we will have saved another $15. Oh, and it's healthier, which is almost as good as wealth.

If you remember, I wasn't done shopping, so after Scott left for work I crunched the numbers and made a couple of orders. 

We are going unorthodox for our guest book

Now it can hang instead of it sitting on a dusty shelf 

between the Doctor Who Encyclopedia and

 the guide book to Biltmore Estates

These are the feather ballpoint pen we chose for guests to sign

and an ornate pen holder

This is a small box we are using for shuttling the rings

This box is for safeguarding the handfasting cord

Nothing else to report, oh wait, I do have one more thing, but I'm doing that in a separate post. I need to gorge for a minute on beans & rice with sausage. then I'll be back to show the b.... aaah hahaha, you almost got me to tell you. 

Turning to Vapor

First of all, I haaaaaate window shopping. Wait, first of first of all, expect even more pictures later. I'll be finishing up the bubble bottles today. I got a little side tracked a couple of days ago when my fiancee, Scott, the cat's pajamas, surprised me with a chunk of the wedding budget. This is where I came in.

I hate window shopping. It isn't bad for something big like a wedding, but i'm a get-in and get-out kind of shopper. Usually I know what I want, having researched all my choices online, but it's frustrating because you don't get the money shot. Now,there is a different type of exploratory shopping, such as when you have a long wish list, get some money, and then I have to decide the best combination of stuff to get with what I have on hand.

Two things I did purchase already are the cake topper and our handfasting cord. The cord will have a burgundy ribbon in place of the brown ribbon.

In addition to these delights, I have a cart on Amazon and Etsy, but I will share those purchases after I make them this evening. Before I make the purchase we are leaving (yikes, in 75 minutes) to make a different purchase.

So you hear time and time again that you have to spend money to make money. Utter nonsense sometimes, but in this case it's real. Quitting smoking was a hyper-fiasco, and we are not unfamiliar with vaporizering, so we are off to get kitted up again to end the cigarettes. Vapeing (it will be in the dictionary one day) is cheaper, much cheaper. Doing it together is a double edged sword. We have each other for support, but we also must suffer the little cravings, ours and theirs, and how they make us act. Health and fortune are on the horizon. Maybe even realistically affordable insurance.

Okay, so after we get back I'll know how much I have and can order more wedding goodies. I have some great things in the carts and am very, very excited about them. I'll be back later today with both more news on shopping, as well as a look-see at the finished bubbles.

Now I just need for Scott to get up so we can go, 'cuz mama's only got 4 cigarettes left.